Learn To Challenge Negative Automatic Thoughts

Four Ways to Argue with Yourself

At its core, optimism is a style of interpreting events that occur in your world. It is your personal theory or explanation of why good and bad things happen to you.

 

While everyone experiences both setbacks and victories in the normal course of life, optimists—in contrast to pessimists—have a very distinct style of explaining things to themselves.

 

Said another way: It is your belief about what happens to you that determines your reaction, more than the event itself.

 

The knack of disputing your beliefs is a thought-skill, the mastery of which will morph you into the optimistic style of thinking. There are four ways to do this: 

 

 

1. Look at the Evidence

According to Seligman, the most convincing way of disputing a negative belief is to show it is factually incorrect.

 

Most of the time you will have “reality” on your side. Your role is that of a detective as you ask “what is the evidence for my belief?” For example, is it really true that you never succeed in anything? (Very doubtful. Everybody succeeds some of the time). That you are the worse parent you know? (Can you remember any success you have had as a parent?). That you are an incurable glutton? (Can you sometimes resist food?) That you are incredibly selfish? (How many times have you been unselfish?)

 

Using this skill of looking at the evidence, you can defeat pessimism with more accurate perception and recall of what is really true.

 

 

To illustrate this, try the following exercise.

 

List a negative belief or self-talk that you have that causes anger, sadness, or resentment in you.

 

 

Now, what evidence do you have that this belief is true?

 

 

Pretending that you are a “detective,” can you find evidence to the contrary? Evidence that shows your negative belief may not be true or not always true. Be honest and list the evidence, even if you are not yet convinced that it disproves your negative belief.

 

 

2. Consider Alternative Causes

Most events in the world have more than one cause. Pessimists latch onto the most insidious; optimists tend more to give themselves
a break.

 

For example, a marital breakup usually has many causes which probably contributed to its downfall. You can blame yourself. You can blame your partner. A more optimistic interpretation is that neither partner failed as an individual; it was the relationship (the combination) that failed.

 

Continuing with our exercise, try to come up with other events or circumstances that may have contributed to the negative outcome.

could have contributed to the event.

  

could have contributed to the event.

  

could have contributed to the event.

 

3. Put Events Into Perspective

If the facts are NOT on your side and you cannot honestly see other causes to a negative event, you will need to look at the implications of your beliefs in order to become an optimistic thinker.

 

Is the event really as catastrophic as you are making it out to be? Here’s a hint: few things are. Usually, the implications or long-term effects of your misfortune aren’t as awful or devastating as you may be viewing them.

 To think more optimistically, you could view the impact of the negative event in a different way which would decrease your anger. Describe how you might put the event in proper perspective.

4. Is Your Belief Useful?

Even though a belief may, in fact, be true, it may not be useful. Some beliefs cause more grief than they are worth. You may tell yourself you are a failure. This belief will likely cause you to stop trying. Instead, substitute a more useful belief like “Just because I failed once doesn’t make me a failure.” Then, behave accordingly with your new belief.

Challenging automatic thoughts is an excellent technique to improving skills in anger management.  To learn more about the Century Anger Management model of intervention and the "8 Tools of Anger Control" visit www.ajnovickgroup.com or www.angercoach.com.

 

 

Comments

[Dr.Mohammed Shafiqul Kabir]

I WANT TO KNOW DETAILS ABOUT 'CBT' AND SOCIAL SKILL TRAINING.